THE Associated Press issued a surprisingly evasive report today about Mike Danton, a forward for the Saint Louis Blues of the National Hockey League, being arrested for "trying to kill a male acquaintance whom he had fought with Tuesday over Danton's 'promiscuity and use of alcohol.' The complaint said Danton feared the acquaintance, who is not named, would talk to St. Louis Blues management and ruin Danton's career." Why would a "male acquaintance" care about Danton's promiscuity? For that matter, why would a hockey team care if a player is promiscuous? Hmm.
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The story then clarifies, sort of: "In a telephone call recorded by authorities, the acquaintance asked why Danton wanted to kill him. According to the complaint, Danton broke down and sobbed, and explained that he ordered the killing because he 'felt the acquaintance was going to leave him.'" Ohboy! The hockey player's a fruit, who at once doesn't want the world to know he's gay and is afraid his boyfriend is leaving him! So he figures he'll stop the emotional hurt and prevent the story from getting out by killing his boyfriend!?! How detestable.
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The story concludes, "Danton, formerly known as Mike Jefferson, was suspended twice by the New Jersey Devils, who eventually traded him to St. Louis last June. He had seven goals, 12 points and 141 penalty minutes in 68 games this season with the Blues." Oh, great. He lived in my state awhile. And changed his name. And is violent. Sounds like great boyfriend material. Good thing I didn't meet him in a bar. That's the kind of guy I want to stay far, far away from.
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When will gay men in sports understand that society has moved faster than they have, and is perfectly willing to accept that a tough guy on the ice or gridiron or anyplace else in sports can be gay? The issue is not the management of the Saint Louis Blues or any other team, nor the reactions of fans. The issue is internalized self-hatred and unearned guilt. Thirty-five years after Stonewall, gay men are still unable to outgrow the fact that they were raised to be straight and instead accept their nature, in large part because the gay-rights Movement is dominated by self-despising losers.
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In 1970 I was part of the committee that was planning the first of what we hoped would become an annual commemoration of the Stonewall Riots of 1969, to celebrate gay men's standing up to police harassment. I offered the term "Gay Pride" for the weekend of events to draw people in for the first march up Avenue of the Americas in New York City, because we wanted to make gay people proud of their nature and demand from themselves -- more than just from society -- a full and happy life as homosexuals. The march did become an annual event, and the term "Gay Pride" became hugely popular, making a difference in the way gay people are perceived, by themselves not least. Before then, "shame" had been more often associated with homosexuality. Now "gay" and "pride" go together very nicely.
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Alas, confused people are not able to help others sort themselves out. And the dynamics of The Movement are such that people who have already sorted themselves out, after years of difficult unlearning of their upbringing, run out of patience with the endless confusions of the new people who keep coming into The Movement, so leave the organizations, leave the publications, and thus, sadly, leave those institutions in the hands of the confused.
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In the Sixties and early Seventies, we thought it would be a very long time before society would follow our lead and accept homosexuals. My own organization, Homosexuals Intransigent!, pursued the idea that at end it doesn't matter what straight people think, because our happiness rests with each other, not with what outsiders think of us. We felt that if we were happy to be gay and lived lives of decency and permanency, we would win the respect of society for deserving it.
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Still, we thought we would lead the way and straights would follow. Ironically, well-adjusted straight people turn out to be more ready to accept homosexuality than are maladjusted homosexuals! People happy in and respectful of their own love relationships can understand sexual love between other people, and in this great and tolerant country are willing to let others 'live and let love'. So straight people are leading the way to a better life for gay men and lesbian women. Weird, ain't it?
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Now if only the Mike Jefferson/Dantons of the world would catch up, we'd be in good shape.
- posted by L. Craig Schoonmaker @ 2:20 PM