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The Expansionist
Sunday, July 15, 2007
 
Beckham, Shmeckham. Who the hell cares about, hm, what's his first name? Let me check: David. Let's start again: Who the hell cares about David Beckham? Or the moronic game he plays? Beckham is today's Pele. Brazilian soccer superstar Pele absolutely, miserably failed to make soccer a major professional sport in the United States. What's-his-name Beckham is almost certain to have the same non-effect.
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The single most important feature that rendered the human creature into a species capable of civilization is the ability to walk erect and thus free two limbs to grasp things and manipulate the environment. Soccer doesn't allow its players (except the goalie) to use their hands. Soccer is uncivilized and anti-civilized. (Small wonder that it is accompanied by barbarous fan behavior all over the world.) It can be played by horses, elephants, or dogs. It is not a fit game for human beings.
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Despite a minimum of 50 years of endless, high-pressure efforts by government and media to make the United States into a soccer country — for reasons completely beyond my comprehension — the United States HATES soccer. Children play it, because of government pressure and the soccer leagues government supports at public expense (all those fields cost money to construct and maintain, you know), but when they grow up, they outgrow it and join the legions of fans of AMERICAN sports. When will foreigners and the anti-American militants in government and media stop pushing soccer at us and admit that we just plain HATE the game?
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Stop forcing kids to play soccer in phys-ed classes, which will save millions of kids from being kicked in the shins, which is what soccer resolves to for the bulk of kids forced to play it in school, against their will. Stop pushing kids to join soccer leagues. Stop showing soccer in commercials for things that have nothing to do with soccer. Convert all those soccer fields to football fields — or cornfields for ethanol. Tell all those "soccer moms" to get out of the United States if they want to push their children to play a foreign game. Drive the term "soccer mom" out of media. Tell the media to stop broadcasting soccer and news of soccer. And tell David Beckham to go back where he came from. We don't need him (nor his hideous, grating, lower-class accent) here. And we don't need his stupid game here either.
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(The current U.S. military death toll in Iraq, according to the website "Iraq Coalition Casualties", is 3,613 — for Israel.)



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