Hwut Rezoomae?

This blog is published, first, in phonetic (Fanetik) spelling and only then in standard English spelling. If you wish to skip to the traditionally spelled text (albeit with a few simplifications now and then), click here.
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Hilere Klintan preetendz thaat she iz hyuejle ekspeereeyanst in guvernmant. Oe? On hwut plaanat?
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She haaz servd wun term (siks yeerz) plus a fyu muntths in the Yoonietad Staets Senat. That iz her entieyer rezoomae aaz aan eelektad guvernmant afishal. Wun term in tha Senat. Big deel.
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Jon Edwerdz haaz just about tha saem amount uv guvernmant ekspeereeyans. Barok Oeboma haaz a yeer aur so maur lejislaetiv ekspeereeyans, ferst aat the staet leval, then aat the naashanal leval. And Bil Richerdsan servd 14 yeerz in the Hous uv Repreezentativz, a yeer aur so as Y.S. Aambaasader tu the Yoonietad Naeshanz, then 2½ yeerz as Sekratere uv Enerje in the Klintan Aadministraeshan, then maur thaan 4 yeerz aaz Guverner uv Nu Meksiko, an egzekyootiv pazishan. So hu haaz tha best rezoomae? Hou iz Hilere Klintan tha 'moest ekspeereeyanst' kaandidaet? It's aul hiep aand liez. Liez? Frum a Klintan? Hu'da thungk it?
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Prieyer tu her wun term in tha Senat, the oenle guvernmental tthing Hilere Klintan wuz aaskt tu du, aaz Ferst Laede, wuz tu kum up witth a plaan faur yueniversal heltthkair. It wuz a dizaaster. We haav no iedeeya hwether tha plaan wuz good aur baad, beekauz she abaandand it aat tha ferst sien uv reezistans, aand her huzband soeld her out, reefyuezing tu chaampeeyan thaat proegraam. She let him sel her out. The wief uv ene publik afishal haaz substaanshal meenz tu poosh her oen ajenda witth thaat afishal, yet Bil soeld Hilere out, aand Hilere didan't go balistik in publik.
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Thaat mizerabool perfaurmans shoez thaat, aat leest in 1993, Hilere Klintan wuz unfit tu serv in ene leedership kapaasite uv ene maejer aurganizaeshan, much les Prezidant uv the Yoonietad Staets.
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The oenle rezoomae uv konsakwans in this prezidenshal kontest iz tha rezoomae not uv Hilere Klintan but uv Bil Klintan, a tue-term Prezidant hu left aufis witth tha lorjast bujatere serplus in tha histare uv tha werld. A vere lorj prapaurshan uv tha peepool hu klaem tu wont tu eelekt Hilere Klintan Prezidant reele wont tu eelekt Bil Klintan tu a ttherd term in aufis. Bil deeniez thaat he wood plae eneetthing but a miener roel aaz aadviezer, aur aambaasader-aat-lorj, aur hwutever els Hilere miet aask him tu du, but we noe witth aabsaluet sertitued thaat Bil Klintan iz a shaemlas lieyer: "I did not haav sekshuewal reelaeshanz witth thaat yung wooman."
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Thus ariezaz a vere interesting konstitueshanal kweschan. Or tha Klintanz atempting tu siedstep tha 22nd Amendmant, hwich reestrikts a givan persan tu aat moest tue termz aaz Prezidant, bi pooting tha Hwiet Hous in tha wief's name?
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Laura Bush wuz intervyued on telavizhan this week about Burma/Mieyanmor, in hwich she iz sapoezd tu be deeple interestad. Or tha Reepublikanz seting up thair oen eevaezhan uv tha 22nd Amendmant?
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Sno in Yuerap. Sno haaz aulrede faulan in the Aalps aand Peeraneez, the erleeyast snoefaul in faurte yeerz. This daimd gloebal waurming!
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Speeking uv "gloebal waurming", it iz obveeyas tu eneewun hu tthingks faur maur thaan 2 sekandz, thaat underlieying aul so-kauld "aantthrapoejenik [maan-maed] gloebal waurming" iz tha werld'z ever-groewing popyoolaeshan. Hwi, then, du we heer endlas chaater about kantroeling aand reeduesing "eemishanz" but not wun werd about kantroeling aand reeduesing "popyoolaeshanz"?
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Rusha iz aakchuewale enkerajing Rushanz tu haav maur baebeez, not beekauz Rusha kaanot get imigrants but beekauz it duzan't wont non-Rushanz in Rusha. A Rushan wooman this week haad a rekerd-bustingle big baebe, 17 poundz. It wuz her twelftth chieyald.
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Raesizam aand triebalizam pramoet popyoolaeshan groetth in Paalastien tue, in a waur uf reepradukshan beetween Juez aand Aarabz. The Y.S., bi kontraast, iz boelstering its utherwiez deekliening popyoolaeshan witth hyuej infloez uv peepool frum tha Ttherd Werld. The Ttherd Werld is fluding tha plaanat witth ekses bertths, but noebude seemz tu kair about thaat aat aul. No, we or just sapoezd tu saev tha childran uv ireesponsibool Ttherd Werld paarants frum tha storvaeshan thaat thair paarants set them on kaurs tu di frum. We or endlasle biseejd in tha Ferst Werld bi aurganizaeshanz beging faur chaarite faur childran in tha Ttherd Werld. Hwut about steriliezing Ttherd Werld wiman (permanantle aur faur fiev yeerz aat a tiem witth subkyuetaeneeyas haurmoen implaants) so thae doen't haav childran tu storv? No, that wood be smort. Aand we must never be smort.
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(Tha kerant Y.S. militere detth toel in Eerok, akaurding tu tha websiet "Eerok Koewalishan Kaazhuewalteez", iz 3,800 — faur Izreeyal.)
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What Résumé? Hillary Clinton pretends that she is hugely experienced in government. Oh? On what planet?
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She has served one term (six years) plus a few months in the United States Senate. That is her entire résumé as an elected government official. One term in the Senate. That's it.
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John Edwards has just about the same amount of government experience. Barack Obama has a year or so more legislative experience, first at the state level, then at the national level. And Bill Richardson served 14 years in the House of Representatives, a year or so as U.S. Ambassador to the United Naitons, then 2½ years as Secretary of Energy in the Clinton Administrataion, then more than 4 years as Governor of New Mexico, an executive position. So who has the best résumé? How is Hillary Clinton the 'most experienced' candidate? It's all hype and lies. Lies? From a Clinton? Who'da thunk it?
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So why is Hillary Clinton said to be the 'most experienced' candidate? It's all hype and lies.
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Prior to her one term in the Senate, the only governmental thing she was asked to do, as First Lady, was to come up with a plan for universal healthcare. It was a disaster. We have no idea whether the plan was good or bad, because she abandoned it at the first sign of resistance, and her husband sold her out, refusing to champion that program. She let him sell her out. The wife of any public official has substantial means to push her own agenda with that official, yet Bill sold Hillary out, and Hillary didn't go ballistic in public.
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That miserable performance shows that, at least in 1993, Hillary Clinton was unfit to serve in any leadership capacity of any major organization, much less President of the United States.
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The only résumé of consequence in this presidential contest is the résumé not of Hillary Clinton but of Bill Clinton, a two-term President who left office with the largest budgetary surplus in the history of the world. A very large proportion of the people who claim to want to elect Hillary Clinton President really want to elect Bill Clinton to a third term in office. Bill denies that he would play anything but a minor role as advisor, or ambassador-at-large, or whatever else Hillary might ask him to do, but we know with absolute certitude that Bill Clinton is a shameless liar: "I did not have sexual relations with that young woman."
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Thus arises a very interesting constitutional question. Are the Clintons attempting to sidestep the 22nd Amendment, which restricts a given person to at most two terms as President, by putting the White House in the wife's name?
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Laura Bush was interviewed on television this week about Burma/Myanmar, in which she is supposed to be deeply interested. Are the Republicans setting up their own evasion of the 22nd Amendment?
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Snow in Europe. Snow has already fallen in the Alps and Pyrenees, the earliest snowfall in forty years. This damned global warming!
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Speaking of "global warming", it is obvious to anyone who thinks for more than 2 seconds, that underlying all so-called "anthropogenic [man-made] global warming" is the world's ever-growing population. Why, then, do we hear endless chatter about controlling and reducing "emissions" but not one word about controlling and reducing "populations"? Russia is actually encouraging Russians to have more babies, not because Russia cannot get immigrants but because it doesn't want non-Russians in Russia. A Russian woman this week had a record-busting big baby, 17 pounds. It was her twelfth child.
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Racism and tribalism promote population growth in Palestine too, in a war of reproduction between Jews and Arabs. The U.S., by contrast, is bolstering its otherwise declining population with huge inflows of people from the Third World. The Third World is flooding the planet with excess births, but nobody seems to care about that at all. No, we are just supposed to save the children of irresponsible Third World parents from the starvation that their parents set them on course to die from. We are endlessly besieged in the First World by organizations begging for charity for children in the Third World. What about sterilizing Third World women (permanently or for five years at a time with subcutaneous hormone implants) so they don't have children to starve? No, that would be smart. And we must never be smart.
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(The current U.S. military death toll in Iraq, according to the website "Iraq Coalition Casualties", is 3,800 — for Israel.)



- posted by L. Craig Schoonmaker @ 11:59 PM