Laeze French; DNA Non-kontraverse; "Pees" Priez

(This blog is published, first, in phonetic (Fanetik) spelling and only then in standard English spelling. If you wish to skip to the traditionally spelled text (albeit with a few simplifications here and there), click here.)
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Fraans kansentad this week tu toleraet a striek bi publik traanspaurt emploiyeez thaat shut doun much uv thaat naeshan'z traen aand subwae servis faur tha lorjast port uv 3 daez. Tue smaul yuenyanz plaan tu kantinyu tha striek, aand tha maen yuenyan iz tthingkin about duewing the saem. Tha gutlas peepool uv Fraans, meenhwieyal, or apaarantle pooting up witth this ataak upon them.
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Aand hwut iz tha striek about? Wel, yu se, tha traanspaurt werkerz or indignant thaat tha nu, Sorkoeze guvernmant wonts tu reekwieyer them tu werk faur 40 yeerz beefaur kwolifieying faur a fool penshan, just liek tha bulk uv uther French werkerz. Sorkoeze wonts tu end erlee-reetieyermant speshal deelz thaat maek sum werkerz privilajd aand "speshal", aat the ekspens uv uther werkerz, hu haav tu kuver the ekses kausts uv thair erle reetieyermant.
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I took erle reetieyermant this yeer aat aej 62, aafter werking 43 yeerz, in port beekauz I aam porshale disaeboold du tu tue seereeyas aaksidants thaat reekwieyerd ne serjereez. I haad tu taek les thaan fool reetieyermant pae aafter 43 yeerz uv kantribyooting tu Soeshal Sakyuerite, beekauz I wood haav haad tu werk anuther 4 yeerz tu get fool benafits, a toetal uv 47 yeerz. Tha French traen werkerz tthingk thaat haaving tu werk 40 yeerz beefaur geting fool penshan iz aan outraejas impazishan. Hwut a laeze bunch uv luezerz tha French or. Miend yu, I aam a tiene, tien bit French mieself, haaving wun French aansester about 9 jeneraeshanz ago. But I haav no reespekt faur laezeenas.
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Tha French werker haaz sum siks aur maur paed weeks auf frum werk evre yeer, in ekstendad vaekaeshan aand holidaez. Siks weeks; aur laungger. Tenz uv milyanz uv Amairikan werkerz (probable eekwal tu tha hoel uv the French werkfaurs) haav no benafits aand thus no paed vaekaeshan. Tha tipikal Amairikan paed vaekaeshan iz tue aur maebe tthre weeks a yeer. In a fyu indastreez, liek lau, sekratereez aand such kaan get a maaksimam uv faur weeks' vaekaeshan, aafter several yeerz uv shaurter vaekaeshanz. Aand thae miet haav 11 holidae's/persanal daez. Thaat iz unyuezhuewale jeneras, heer. Moest Amairikanz get nutthing liek that much tiem auf, aand yungger werkerz mae suen haav tu werk faur 49 aur 50 yeerz tu get fool Soeshal Sakyuerite benafits. Amairikan benafits or much tue stinje; French, houwever, or preeposterasle eksesiv.
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Aand hwut du theez laeze French werkerz du witth aul thaat tiem auf? I saspekt moest du litool but vejataet. Aand Fraans'z kampetitiv pazishan in tha werld eekoname iz beeying eeroedad awae, dae bi dae.
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If tha French did sumtthing wertthqhwieyal witth aul thaat tiem auf, thaat wood be fien. Aand maebe aul tha werld shood haav maur tiem tu laez around aand du nutthing. But moest peepool deeprievd uv perpas in lief aand feelingz uv yuesfoolnas du not benafit frum so much tiem auf. Indeed, mene oeld peepool hu haav nutthing tu du, luez interest in lief aand just di.
purpose in life and feelings of usefulness do not benefit from so much time off. Indeed, many old people who have nothing to do, lose interest in life and just die.
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Oq, wel. Thaat's not mi problam, I sapoez, aand French laezeenas mae benafit Amairikan kampetitivnas. But, kontrere tu French stuepidity in this penshan and striek ishu, Fraans reesantle prapoezd zumtthing reele sensibool — hwich, uv kaurs, iz beeying maasivle apoezd.
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Spasifikale, tha Sorkoeze guvernmant wonts tu reestrikt faamile-yuenifikaeshan imigraeshan tu jenyuewin memberz uv imigrants' famileez, not just peepool poezing aas such tu get intu tha kuntre, bi reekwieyering a DNA test tu shoe aakchuewal reelaeshanship. Hou koo eneewun orgyu agents thaat? Leev it tu tha French tu be afendad bi tha vere iedeeya uv cheking relaeshanships witth DNA testing! I hoep Sorkoeze roelz oever such stuepidite witth a Caterpiler traakter.
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Speeking uv imigraeshan, tien Switserland (7.5 milyan peepool, about 700,000 les thaan Nu Yaurk Site) iz beeying dround in imigrants, mene frum blaak Aafrika, aand iz storting tu feel itself tthretand. 20% uv kerant rezidants or non-Swiss, aand kanservativ Swis palitikal porteez wont tu drau tha lien aand indeed ekspel peepool liekly tu chaenj Swis kulcher draastikale. Switserland iz aan amaalgam uv Jerman, French, Itaalyan, aand Roemaansh kamyuenities. Preezuemable imigrants frum thoez kulcherz or not seen aas endaenjering Swis iedentity, but Aafrikanz or. Wil Switserland kansent tu kulcheral suewisied tthru unreestriktad imigraeshan frum blaak Aafrika? Aur wil its peepool sae thaat tha popyooler sloegan uv the aantee-impeereeyal muevmant, "Aafrika faur the Aafrikans" iz a vere good iedeeya, aand "Switserland faur tha Swis" is aan eekwale good iedeeya? We shaal se.
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Noebel "Pees" Preiz. Laast yeer, around this tiem, I kritisiezd tha Noebel Pees Priez kamite haaz agen awaurdad tha "Pees" Priez faur aaktiviteez haaving nutthing tu du witth pees. Heer we or, a yeer laeter, aand tha kamite haaz agen awaurdad tha "Pees" Priez faur aaktiviteez haaving nutthing tu du witth pees.
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Let's be kleer: it iz not tha "Nies Tthing Tu Du Priez". It iz tha "Pees Priez". It iz intendad tu
rekagniez eferts thaat pradues aur aat leest werk mietile tu aadvaans pees, thaat iz, tha sesaeshan aur preevenshan uv militere waur aur, aat vere, vere leest, reedukshan uv interkamyuenal reezentmants thaat miet pradues ormd konflikt. It iz not tha "Noebel Envieranmentalizam Priez", naur tha "Noebel Dokyoomentare Film Priez". It iz tha "Noebel PEES Prize", aand Aal Gaur duz not dazerv a PEES priez beekauz hiz kaampaen on fiktishas "maan-maed gloebal waurming" haaz nutthing hwutsoewever tu du witth pees.
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If tha Noebel aurganizaeshan wishaz tu estaablish aan Envieranmentalizam Priez aur Hyuemaanitaireeyan Priez, thaat iz perfaktle witthin thair riet aand thair pouwer to do. But if tha priez iz faur PEES, it shood be reezervd tu peepool aand aurganizaeshanz hu werk faur PEES, peereeyad.
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(Tha kerant Y.S. militere detth toel in Eerok, akaurding tu tha websiet "Eerok Koewalishan Kaazhuewalteez", iz 3,832 — faur Izreeyal.)
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Lazy French; DNA Non-controversy; "Peace" Prize

France consented this week to tolerate a strike by public transport employees that shut down much of that nation's train and subway service for the largest part of 3 days. Two small unions plan to continue the strike, and the main union is thinking about doing the same. The gutless people of France, meanwhile, are apparently putting up with this attack upon them.
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And what is the strike about? Well, you see, the transport workers are indignant that the new, Sarkozy government wants to require them to work for 40 years before qualifying for a full pension, just like the bulk of other French workers. Sarkozy wants to end early-retirement special deals that make some workers privileged and "special", at the expense of other workers, who have to cover the excess costs of their early retirement.
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I took early retirement this year at age 62, after working 43 years, in part because I am partially disabled due to two serious accidents that required knee surgeries. I had to take less than full retirement pay after 43 years of contributing to Social Security, because I would have had to work another 4 years to get full benefits, a total of 47 years. The French train workers think that having to work 40 years before getting full pension is an outrageous imposition. What a lazy bunch of losers the French are. Mind you, I am a tiny, tiny bit French myself, having one French ancestor about 9 generations ago. But I have no respect for laziness.
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The French worker has some six or more paid weeks off from work every year, in extended vacation and holidays. Six weeks; or longer. Tens of millions of American workers (probably equal to the whole of the French workforce) have no benefits and thus no paid vacation. The typical American paid vacation is two or maybe three weeks a year. In a few industries, like law, secretaries and such can get a maximum of four weeks' vacation, after several years of shorter vacations. And they might have 11 holidays/personal days. That is unusually generous, here. Most Americans get nothing like that much time off, and younger workers may soon have to work for 49 or 50 years to get full Social Security benefits. American benefits are much too stingy; French, however, are preposterously excessive.
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And what do these lazy French workers do with all that time off? I suspect most do little but vegetate. And France's competitive position in the world economy is being eroded away, day by day.
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If the French did something worthwhile with all that time off, that would be fine. And maybe all the world should have more time to laze around and do nothing. But most people deprived of purpose in life and feelings of usefulness do not benefit from so much time off. Indeed, many old people who have nothing to do, lose interest in life and just die.
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Ah, well. That's not my problem, I suppose, and French laziness may benefit American competitiveness. But, contrary to French stupidity in this pension and strike issue, France recently proposed something really sensible — which, of course, is being massively opposed.
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Specifically, the Sarkozy government wants to restrict family-unification immigration to genuine members of immigrants' families, not just people posing as such to get into the country, by requiring a DNA test to show actual relationship. How could anyone argue against that? Leave it to the French to be offended by the very idea of checking relationships with DNA testing! I hope Sarkozy rolls over such stupidity with a Caterpillar tractor.
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Speaking of immigration, tiny Switzerland (7.5 million people, about 700,000 less than New York City) is being drowned in immigrants, many from black Africa, and is starting to feel itself threatened. 20% of current residents are non-Swiss, and conservative Swiss political parties want to draw the line and indeed expel people likely to change Swiss culture drastically. Switzerland is an amalgam of German, French, Italian, and Romansch communities. Presumably immigrants from those cultures are not seen as endangering Swiss identity, but Africans are. Will Switzerland consent to cultural suicide thru unrestricted immigration from black Africa? Or will its people say that the popular slogan of the anti-imperial movement, "Africa for the Africans" is a very good idea, and "Switzerland for the Swiss" is an equally good idea? We shall see.
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Nobel "Peace" Prize. Last year, on October 14th, I criticized the Nobel Peace Prize committee for honoring an activity that had absolutely nothing to do with peace. Here we are, a year later, and the committee has again awarded the "Peace" Prize for activities having nothing to do with peace.
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Let's be clear: it is not the "Nice Thing To Do Prize". It is the "Peace Prize". It is intended to recognize efforts that produce or at least work mightily to advance peace, that is, the cessation or prevention of military war or, at very, very least, reduction of intercommunal resentments that might produce armed conflict. It is not the "Nobel Environmentalism Prize", nor the "Nobel Documentary Film Prize". It is the "Nobel PEACE Prize", and Al Gore does not deserve a PEACE prize because his campaign on fictitious "man-made global warming" has nothing whatsoever to do with peace.
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If the Nobel organization wishes to establish an Environmentalism Prize or Humanitarian Prize, that is perfectly within both their right and their power to do. But if the prize is for PEACE, it should be reserved to people and organizations who work for PEACE, period.
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(The current U.S. military death toll in Iraq, according to the website "Iraq Coalition Casualties", is 3,832 — for Israel.)

- posted by L. Craig Schoonmaker @ 11:59 PM

 
Horsh Nasesite

(This blog is published, first, in phonetic (Fanetik) spelling and only then in standard English spelling. If you wish to skip to the traditionally spelled text (albeit with a few simplifications here and there), click here.)
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Bil Kozbe aand Aalvin Puesont wer on Oepra toodae, tu pramoet thair book, Kum On Peepool (sik: thair shood be a koma beetween "On" aand "Peepool"). Thae taukt about tha graev problamz much uv tha blaak kamyuenite suferz aaz a konsakwans uv tha fizikal aand siekalojikal aabsans uv men frum tha blaak faamile. Thair wer horer staureez uv merderz aand drug traajadeez, uv lievz laust aand opertueniteez laust, aaz apauling numberz uv yung blaak mailz, deeprievd uv straung aand riechas mail roel modalz, tthro thair lievz awae in drugz aand kriem. Puesont reepaurtad thaat oever 50% uv blaak mailz in mene erban skuel distrikts drop out beefaur finishing hi skuel. In sum distrikts it iz oever 70%.
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Such kidz doen't wont tha jobz thae noe thae kaan't get witthout aat vere leest a hie-skuel ejookaeshan. Thae wont tu run around liek perpechuewal infants, tu liv tha flaashe, vaapid lief uv drug poosherz aand pimps, aand doen't kair about tha hi maurtaalite raet uv thaat kiend uv liefstieyal.
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Thae beekum bieyalojikal fotherz but reefyuez tu be siekalojikal fotherz. Thae just spred thair seed aand muev on, leeving tha paaranting tu tha fuelish yung wiman huez lusts aand eemoeshanal needz leed them tu beekum mutherz laung beefaur thae or eevan reemoetle rede faur tha reesponsibiliteez.
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Evreehwair in tha staure lerk drugz. Tha 'lesan' thaat vyuewerz wer ekspektad tu taek awae iz thaat a straung mail roel modal in tha hoem kaan maek a krueshal diferans in tha lievz uv thair childran, espeshale boiz. But thaat's not tha baesik lesan tu be lernd. Tha reel lesan iz thaat we haav a drug problam in this kuntre thaat iz dastroiying ouwer sivilizaeshan, aand we'r duewing aabsaluetle nutthing about it that staandz eevan tha tieneeyast chaans uv sakses.
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Kameedeeyanz stil maek drug joeks, aaz tho drugz or fune, hormlas. Doen't kount tha ded frum
drug yues: the oeverdoesaz, the AIDS, tha driev-bi shuetingz aaz drug poosherz fiet oever 'terf' aand inasants, inklueding tiene childran, get kild bi strae boolats frum mueving korz, aur in tha krausfieyer beetween rieval drug poosherz fieting it out on tha streets. Faurget about tha tthouzandz uv skwair mieyalz uv erban teraen renderd unsaef aat ene ouwer bi tha raavajaz uv drugz. Drug ejookaeshan, aur straung paaranting, aur a reenued moral sense kaan fiks aul thaat. Boolsh*t.
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The ugle faakt iz thaat we haav a naashanal drug problam beekauz we WONT a naashanal drug problam, beekauz we PREEFER tu keep a naashanal drug problam thaan tu kyuer it. Beekauz the aabsaluet oenle wae tu end it iz maas eksakyueshanz. The oenle wae.
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We haav maed a daliberat, if unkonshas chois: we preefer tu haav ouwer sasieyate raavajd, aand lorj ports uv neerle evre maejer site aulmoest kampleetle dastroid aaz plaesaz peepool kaan liv good lievz, oever aaksepting thaat the oenle wae tu end tha drug plaeg iz tu kil tha poosherz hu or kauzing aul theez problamz. Thaat iz a daamd stuepid chois.
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If we kil 20,000 drug deelerz in wun yeer, we wil be aebool tu reeklaem perhaapz 80% uv aireeyaz nou laust tu sivilizaeshan, imeedeeyatle, aand perhaaps 90%. If we kil anuther 20,000 drug poosherz nekst yeer, so thaat peepool understaand this wuz not a wun-tiem deel, aand tthingz kaan go baak tu "naurmal" — unreestriktad drug traafiking — thairaafter, we wil be aebool tu reclaem aproksimatle 99% uv aul ports uv this kuntre frum tha hyueman devastaeshan, kriem, aand vieyalans thaat nou plaeg us. It duzan't maater hwether it's hwiet traash on metth aur blaak traash on heroewin, aul ports uv sasieyate wood be saevd bi a feers kraakdown aand maas eksakyueshanz uv drug traafikerz.
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But we woodan't wont tu du thaat. Thaat wood prite much end kriem aaz a signifikant publik problam, aand we kaan't haav thaat. Hwut wood politishanz run on? Hwut wood we woch on telavizhan? Hwut wood reeplaes aul thoez KSI proegraamz aand kriem dromaz? Hwut wood loekal nuez tauk about? Kriem iz aat tha vere hort uv tha popyooler kulcher uv reesant dekaedz — tha vere dorkast, vieyalast hort uv ouwer deefaurmd aand deementad popyooler kulcher. Hou wood tha rest uv tha werld vyu us if we didan't chern out hundradz uv hiepervieyalant kriem filmz aand TV shoez eech yeer?
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Witthout drug-drivan kriem, we'd be a J-raetad sasieyate, in evre loekaalite. Hou bauring iz thaat?! We need daenjeras, we need seede aand disgusting. Thair'z sumtthing egzilaraeting about wauking tha street aat niet aand aakchuewale maeking it hoem aliev. We need thaat eksietmant. Shuerle we doen't wont tu be aaz bauring aaz Singapaur, hwich haaz drakoeneeyan drug lauz aand aulmoest no kriem. We wont daenjer. We need it. Beeying perpechuewale aat the ej uv detth maeks us apreesheeyaet lief! Boolsh*t.
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If we chop up eevool drug-pooshing skumbaagz faur ports faur deesant peepool, we wil siemultaeneeyasle saev tenz uv tthouzandz uv lievz thaat or aakchuewale wertth saeving, sins tha vere fyuewast peepool tu be saevd bi eech fizikale heltthe drug poosher iz siks, aand probable sevan: 1 hort, 2 lungz, 3 loebz uv tha liver, 2 kidneez kood be distribyootad tu sevan aur aet diferant peepool, tho joint hort-lung traanzplaants miet reedues thaat number tu siks. Stil, saeving siks deesant peepool by kiling wun subhyueman pees uv sh*t iz a vere, very good borgan. Eevan maurso if tha detth uv tha wun skairz 10 utherz awae frum a lief uv kriem. Win-win. The oenle luezer iz aulrede a luezer, aand thus no ferther laus tu sasieyate.
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Aat end, tha "hyueman" beeying iz oenle aan aanimal, aand kaan be kantroeld oenle bi feer. Paen kantroelz us, feer uv detth kantroelz us. Aulmoest nutthing els kantroelz sum uv us in ene mezher. Prizan? A paeper tieger, a vaekaeshan witth tthre skwairz a dae aand no bilz tu pae.
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Frum tiem imamaureeyal, preests haav tried tu poot tha feer uv God(z) intu tha peepool thae seek tu kantroel. But tha God uv the Krischanz iz a luving aand faurgiving God, so yu kaan du teribool tthingz, kill duzanz uv peepool, aand then "fiend God" in prizan, "reepent yaur eevool waez", aand be fergivan laung beefaur Jujmant Dae. Noebude bileevz in fieyer aand brimstoen kaast doun frum tha skiez bi a venjfool God. God iz a woos thaat ene good konmaan kaan kon.
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The Staet? Thaat's kwiet anuther staure. Tha preest/as uv oeld kood taus verjinz intu tha volkaeno beekauz reelijan haad thaat kiend uv temparal pouwer. Not so heer aand nou. Tha Staet (be it kauld a "staet" aur tha Federal Guvernmant) impoezaz punishmants in tha reel werld, aand tha Staet iz a sise. Hideeyas taurcher-merderz or punisht, aat werst, bi jentool leetthal injekshanz — aand eevan thaat iz beeying chaalanjd aaz "kruel aand unyuezhuewal punishmant". Tha Soopreem Kaurt miet aakchuewale ruel thaat pooting deepresants intu a monster'z vaen iz a 'kriem agenst hyuemaanite', aand maek it neerle imposibool faur us tu kil tha kilerz — if we let it. Uv kaurs, tha Soopreem Kaurt in its prezant kanfigyooraeshan miet not du thaat. But ouwer saefte aaz a sasieyate must not deepend on the then-kerant kanfigyooraeshan uv ene kaurt. We haav tha riet tu maek lauz thaat no juj kaan void, aand tha Konstitueshan praviedz thaat Konggras kaan deeklair witthin aan aakt uv lejislaeshan thaat no kaurt kaan void it. Staets mae aulso nou haav aur miet wel enaakt komparabool mezherz faur thair oen konstitueshanz.
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Hwutever must be dun tu saev ouwer sivilizaeshan, must be dun. Kozbe on Oepra auferd tha pitthe observaeshan, hwich Oepra liekd, thaat "Hert peepool, hert peepool". Koz disoend koining it but didan't sae hu did koin it. Aand just az "Hert peepool, hert peepool." iz tru, so iz "Hwutever must be dun, must be dun", tu saev ouwer sivilizaeshan. If thaat meenz kiling tenz uv tthouzandz uv drug poosherz — and it duz — thaat iz a tiene, inkonsakwenshal pries tu pae. We haav kild hundrads uv tthouzandz uv Eerokeez, aand spent $500 bilyan tu du it, sapoezadle tu saev ouwer sivilizaeshan frum dastrukshan, eevan tho Eerok never ataakt us. Kriminalz ataak us evre dae, kil tthouzandz uv us, heer aat hoem, in a yeer, aand kaust us hundradz uv bilyanz uv dolerz we kood saev eech aand evre yeer in perpechuewite, bi ending kriem. Hwen the aurganz we kood horvast frum eksakyuetad kriminalz or figyerd intu tha borgan, sasieyate staandz tu maek a vere tiedy profit on the deel.
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P.S. Foks Nuez Chaanal'z Bil O'Riele aadmitad tooniet thaat (aproksimat kwoet),

If we haad a maajikal tiem masheen aand kood go baak, I wish we haad never gaun in[tu Eerok]".

Beter vere, vere, vere, vere laet thaan never, I sapoez. I apoezd the invaezhan laung beefaur it haapand aand nue thaat it wuz moest unliekly thaat Sadom Huesaen eether haad Wepanz uv Maas Dastrukshan aur entertaend tthauts uv launching ataaks apon tha Yoonietad Staets. But noebude paez atenshan tu me. I'm not rich aand faemas. I'm just aulwaez riet.
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(Tha kerant Y.S. militere detth toel in Eerok, akaurding tu tha websiet "Eerok Koewalishan Kaazhuewalteez", iz 3,829 — faur Izreeyal.)
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Harsh Necessity. Bill Cosby and Alvin Poussaint were on Oprah today, to promote their book, Come On People (sic: there should be a comma between "On" and "People"). They talked about the grave problems much of the black community suffers as a consequence of the physical and psychological absence of men from the black family. There were horror stories of murders and drug tragedies, of lives lost and opportunities lost, as appalling numbers of young black males, deprived of strong and righteous male role models, throw their lives away in drugs and crime. Poussaint reported that over 50% of black males in many urban school districts drop out before finishing high school. In some districts it is over 70%.
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Such kids don't want the jobs they know they can't get without at very least a high-school education. They want to run around like perpetual infants, to live the flashy, vapid life of drug pushers and pimps, and don't care about the high mortality rate of that kind of lifestyle.
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They become biological fathers but refuse to be psychological fathers. They just spread their seed and move on, leaving the parenting to the foolish young women whose lusts and emotional needs lead them to become mothers long before they are even remotely ready for the responsibilities.
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Everywhere in the story lurk drugs. The 'lesson' that viewers were expected to take away is that a strong male role model in the home can make a crucial difference in the lives of their children, especially boys. But that's not the basic lesson to be learned. The real lesson is that we have a drug problem in this country that is destroying our civilization, and we're doing absolutely nothing about it that stands even the tiniest chance of success.
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Comedians still make drug jokes, as tho drugs are funny, harmless. Don't count the dead from drug use: the overdoses, the AIDS, the drive-by shootings as drug pushers fite over 'turf' and innocents, including tiny children, get killed by stray bullets from moving cars, or in the crossfire between rival drug pushers fiting it out on the streets. Forget about the thousands of square miles of urban terrain rendered unsafe at any hour by the ravages of drugs. Drug education, or strong parenting, or a renewed moral sense can fix all that. Bullsh*t.
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The ugly fact is that we have a national drug problem because we WANT a national drug problem, because we PREFER to keep a national drug problem than to cure it. Because the absolute only way to end it is mass executions. The only way.
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We have made a deliberate, if unconscious choice: we prefer to have our society ravaged, and large parts of nearly every major city almost completely destroyed as places people can live good lives, over accepting that the only way to end the drug plague is to kill the pushers who are causing all these problems. That is a damned stupid choice.
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If we kill 20,000 drug dealers in one year, we will be able to reclaim perhaps 80% of areas now lost to civilization, immediately, and perhaps 90%. If we kill another 20,000 drug pushers next year, so that people understand this was not a one-time deal, and things can go back to "normal" — unrestricted drug trafficking — thereafter, we will be able to reclaim approximately 99% of all parts of this country from the human devastation, crime, and violence that now plague us. It doesn't matter whether it's white trash on meth or black trash on heroin, all parts of society would be saved by a fierce crackdown and mass executions of drug traffickers.
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But we wouldn't want to do that. That would pretty much end crime as a significant public problem, and we can't have that. What would politicians run on? What would we watch on television? What would replace all those CSI programs and crime dramas? What would local news talk about? Crime is at the very heart of the popular culture of recent decades — the very darkest, vilest heart of our deformed and demented popular culture. How would the rest of the world view us if we didn't churn out hundreds of hyperviolent crime films and TV shows each year?
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Without drug-driven crime, we'd be a G-rated society, in every locality. How boring is that?! We need dangerous, we need seedy and disgusting. There's something exhilarating about walking the street at nite and actually making it home alive. We need that excitement. Surely we don't want to be as boring as Singapore, which has draconian drug laws and almost no crime. We want danger. We need it. Being perpetually at the edge of death makes us appreciate life! Bullsh*t.
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If we chop up evil drug-pushing scumbags for parts for decent people, we will simultaneously save tens of thousands of lives that are actually worth saving, since the very fewest people to be saved by each physically healthy drug pusher is six, and probably seven: 1 heart, 2 lungs, 3 lobes of the liver, 2 kidneys could be distributed to seven or eight different people, tho joint heart-lung transplants might reduce that number to six. Still, saving six decent people by killing one subhuman piece of sh*t is a very, very good bargain. Even moreso if the death of the one scares 10 others away from a life of crime. Win-win. The only loser is already a loser, and thus no loss at all to society.
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At end, the "human" being is only an animal, and can be controlled only by fear. Pain controls us, fear of death controls us. Almost nothing else controls some of us in any measure. Prison? A paper tiger, a vacation with three squares a day and no bills to pay.
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From time immemorial, priests have tried to put the fear of God(s) into the people they seek to control. But the God of the Christians is a loving and forgiving God, so you can do terrible things, kill dozens of people, and then "find God" in prison, "repent your evil ways", and be forgiven long before Judgment Day. Nobody believes in fire and brimstone cast down from the skies by a vengeful God. God is a wuss that any good conman can con.
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The State? That's quite another story. The priest/ess of old could toss virgins into the volcano because religion had that kind of temporal power. Not so here and now. The State (be it called a "state" or the Federal Government) imposes punishments in the real world, and the State is a sissy. Hideous torture-murders are punished, at worst, by gentle lethal injections — and even that is being challenged as "cruel and unusual punishment". The Supreme Court might actually rule that putting depressants into a monster's vein is a 'crime against humanity', and make it nearly impossible for us to kill the killers — if we let it. Of course, the Supreme Court in its present configuration might not do that. But our safety as a society must not depend on the then-current configuration of any court. We have the right to make laws that no judge can void, and the Constitution provides that Congress can declare within an act of legislation that no court can void it. States may also now have or might well enact comparable measures for their own constitutions.
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Whatever must be done to save our civilization, must be done. Cosby on Oprah offered the pithy observation, which Oprah liked, that "Hurt people, hurt people." Cos disowned coining it but didn't say who did coin it. And just as "Hurt people, hurt people" is true, so is "Whatever must be done, must be done", to save our civilization. If that means killing tens of thousands of drug pushers — and it does — that is a tiny, inconsequential price to pay. We have killed hundreds of thousands of Iraqis, and spent $500 bilyan to do it, supposedly to save our civilization from destruction, even tho Iraq never attacked us. Criminals attack us every day, kill thousands of us, here at home, in a year, and cost us hundreds of billions of dollars we could save by ending crime. When the organs we could harvest from executed criminals are figured into the bargain, society stands to make a very tidy profit on the deal.
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P.S. Fox News Channel's Bill O'Reilly admitted tonite that (approximate quote),

If we had a magical time machine and could go back, I wish we had never gone in[to Iraq]".

Better very, very, very, very late than never, I suppose. I opposed the invasion long before it happened and knew that it was most unlikely that Saddam Hussein either had Weapons of Mass Destruction or entertained thoughts of launching attacks upon the United States. But nobody pays attention to me. I'm not rich and famous. I'm just always rite.
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(The current U.S. military death toll in Iraq, according to the website "Iraq Coalition Casualties", is 3,829 — for Israel.)
- posted by L. Craig Schoonmaker @ 11:59 PM

 
Liez, Skaamz, aand Aafektaeshanz

(This blog is published, first, in phonetic (Fanetik) spelling and only then in standard English spelling. If you wish to skip to the traditionally spelled text (albeit with a few simplifications here and there), click here.)
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KBS Nuez Sundae Maurning eeritaetad me toodae, so I ternd it auf.
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Ferst, a leed segmant wuz about Lin "Cháe.nee", wief uv Dik "Cháe.nee". Thair iz no such persan. Tha maan's naem iz properle pranounst chée.nee. Aaz Wikipeedeeya sez:

Aultho hiz laast naem iz yuezhuewale pranounst [Internaashanal Fanetik Alfabet rendering, then] (chAYnee) [cháe.nee], tha Vies Prezidant himself aand hiz faamile pranouns it aaz [IPA rendering] (chEEnee) [chée.nee].

So hwen a nuez aurganizaeshan telz us it iz cháe.nee , thae or lieying tu us. Hou kaan yu reeli on the aakyarase uv eneetthing thae sae if thae kaan't eevan get tha naem riet? I went tu hi skuel witth a gerl huez naem wuz speld "Cheney" aand pranounst chée.nee, aand Lon Chaney wuz a maejer stor uv horer mueveez hwen I wuz yung, so I haav never understood the insistans uv meedeeya on mispranounsing this politishan'z name.
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Aaz I heer tha staure, Cheene wuz aulwaez noen aaz chée.nee until he kaem tu Woshingtan, hwairapon sum peepool stortad kauling him cháe.nee, aand he didan't karekt them. He wuz maur kansernd about pouwer thaan faamile dignite. I tue haav a sernaem (Schoonmaker) thaat iz aufan mispranounst. But I karekt peepool ("Skúen.mae.ker") hwen I aam intervyued, aand meedeeya aaksept thaat karekshan, yuezhuewale witth a litool apolaje. Wood meedeeya kaul tha Vies Prezidant cháe.nee if he abjektad and deemaandad thae stop mispranounsing hiz naem? I doen't tthingk so. But if I noe, aand Wikipeedeeya noez, thaat tha faamile naem iz pranounst chée.nee, hwi duzan't KBS, ABK, aand evre uther frigin' aural meedeeyam in tha Naeshan noe thaat? If thae du noe but nunthales mispranouns it, hou du thae justifi thaat?
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Sekand, poelz aaz tu tha leederz in tha prezidenshal 'haursraes' sho peepool lieying shaemlasle tu poelsterz, aaz tho moest Demakraats hu haav a preferans reele wont tha frijid bich Hilere Klinton, aand aaz tho maur Reepublikans wont a proe-gae, proe-abaurshan NU YAURK SITE politishan thaan ene uv the uther kaandidaets, hwairaaz tha bulk uv tha Reepublikan pouwer baes is aantee-gae, aantee-abaurshan, aand aantee-Nu Yaurk Site. So hwi theez poel numberz?
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I haav aulrede pointad out thaat a lot uv Demakraats wont tu poot Bil Klintan intu tha Hwiet Hous faur a ttherd term, aand tthingk thaat thaat iz hwut thae wil reele be duewing if thae voet faur Hilere. Hwi wood eneewun wont Bil Klintan baak in tha Hwiet Hous? Wuz hiz raen a goeldan aej? Not faur tha Florida faamile uv Elián Gonzalez, it wuzan't. Reemember thaat uther frijid bich, Jaanat Reeno, aurdering a SWOT teem intu a prievat hous witth masheengunz pointad aat Kyueban-Amairikanz tu steel a chieyald frum tha saefte aand freedam uv the Yoonietad Staets aand send him tu Kaastro's Komyoonist teerane? Oq, tha good oeld daez! I doen't tthingk so.
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Beesiedz, peepool hu tthingk a voet faur Hilere iz a voet faur Bil miet be seereeyasle mistaekan. Faur aul thae noe, the instant Hilere sets foot in tha Hwiet Hous, her lauyerz wil fieyal divaurs paeperz aand she wil taus him out uv tha Hwiet Hous in a vere publik hyuemileeyaeshan tu get eevan faur the hyuemileeyaeshan he subjektad her tu witth hiz hieperpublisiezd adultere skaandal witth a Juewish intern huez naem I du not kair tu menshan. It wood be eevan funeeyer if Hilere then muevd in a lezbeeyan luver ("luvas"?) she haaz bin hieding in a klozat sumhwair!
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But hwi wood Reepublikanz preetend tu wont Ruedolf Jueleeyone? Iz it beekauz thae sens the autthoritaireeyan streek in hiz kaarakter, aand thae wont tu kantinyu tha dounwerd slied uv this Reepublik intu diktaetership? I livd in Jueleeyone'z Nu Yaurk aand kauld him "Muesaleeyone" beekauz uv hiz diktataureeyal tendanseez. Maebe tha Reepublikan Riet haets tha freedam thae keep proeklaeming thair deevoeshan tu, in "pratest tue much" faashan. But du thae reele wont a proe-gae aand proe-abaurshan diktaeter frum Nu Yaurk Site, tha moest haetad site in tha Naeshan? "Hiemeetoun"? A site apaarantle maur foran thaan Amairikan? I doen't bileev it.
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Naur du I bileev thaat a kuntre thaat haaz haad egzaaktle wun Kaathalik Prezidant iz about tu eelekt a Maurman, member uv a kult thaat moest Amairikanz aaktivle distrust.
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Uv kaurs it iz posibool thaat aantee-blaak Demakraats or wiling tu sae thae sapaurt a wooman thae doen't sapaurt beekauz thae wont a kuver faur not wonting a blaak maan. Peepool eeger tu kantinyu aantee-blaak hieyering praaktisaz haav bin aul tue haape tu proeklaem wiman aan "aprest mienorite" so thae kood hieyer hwiet wiman — in preferans tu blaak men — aand stil preetend tu be aadvaansing soeshal justis bi fieting "diskriminaeshan". Maebe thaat's hwut's haapaning heer. If tha laast refyuej uv tha raesist iz tu poez aaz a liberal bi voeting faur a hwiet woman, maebe Hilere wil win aafter aul. But I doen't tthingk so.
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Aand perhaps it's posibool thaat Reepublikanz hu wood never voet faur a Maurman or unwiling tu be held tu akount faur thair "reelijas bigatre", so giv poelsterz a palitikale karekt aanser thaat kanseelz thair reel feelingz. I du bileev thaat, beekauz studeez haav shoen thaat peepool li tu poelsterz if thae tthingk thaat hwut thae reele feel wood ekspoez them tu disaprueval, frum the persan poeling them, not leest. Thus poelsterz sumtiemz poez chek-kweschanz, liek "Du yu tthingk yaur naeberz or wiling tu voet faur a Maurman / wooman / blaak maan / proe-gae Nu Yaurker?" Mene peepool wood be wiling tu prajekt ontu thair naeberz /uther rezidants uv thair site thair oen (soeshale disapruevd) aatituedz, so such chek-kweschanz get a maur reelieyabool reezult. Haav meedeeya in faakt aaskt such kweschanz? If so, thae'v dun a vere good job uv not reepaurting them.
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Ttherd, Chorlz Ozgood, yueneek amung maejer onskreen aangkerz, stieyalz tha yeer "Twente o sevan". Hwut iz raung witth him? No wun els sez thaat, naur shood. "Tue tthouzand sevan" iz tha staanderd wae uv saeying this yeer'z naem. It's not aaz tho hiz bizor misyues iz sumhou shaurter, aur maatthamaatikale maur aakyarat. Boetth faurmyoolaeshanz or sevan silaboolz. No saeving. So hwi wood Ozgood preefer the ideeyotik aafektaeshan "Twente o sevan"? "Tue tthouzand sevan" iz maatthamaatikale aakyarat, aand reemiendz us uv tha laung histare uv Western sivilizaeshan aand ouwer plaes in it. Tha bizor misyues Ozgood preeferz abliteraets histare aand poezaz numberz in meeninglas termz. Perhaaps I shood riet tu tha Prezidant uv KBS Nuez tu aask him tu soopres Ozgood'z afensiv misyues.
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Eevenchuewale, "twente" probable wil seem beter, but sertanle not beefaur 2010, aand maebe not beefaur 2015 or, espeshale, 2020. Miend yu, "twente" aaz agenst "tue tthouzand" wil aulwaez be oenle a wun-silabool saeving, tho in foeneemz (indivijuewal speech soundz), it iz a taad shaurter: T/W/E/N/T/EE vs. T/UE/TTH/OU/Z/A/N/D, 6 foeneemz vs. 8. Iz thaat reele so draastik a saeving aaz tu worant reekaasting a kompreehensibool number intu a hojpoj? I doen't tthingk so.
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"19" wuz a reel shaurtaning aaz agenst "wun tthouzand nien hundrad", 2 silaboolz vs. 6; N/IE/N/T/EE/N (6 foeneemz) vs. W/U/N/TTH/OU/Z/A/N/D/N/IE/N/H/U/N/D/R/A/D (19, intrastingle). Thaat wuz wertth duewing. Saeving 1 silabool aand 2 foeneemz? I doen't tthingk so.
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Oeld Skaamz Stil Werking. Sum nuez proegraam (I doen't reekaul hwich, I woch so mene) the uther dae reekountad tha tail uv sum stuepid wooman hu fel faur wun uv thoez foene chek skaamz frum Aafrika, bi wae uv alerting peepool tu tha nu aantee-fraud websiet FaekCheks.aurg (hwich looks tu be a graet siet, hwich adresaz maur skaamz thaan just faek cheks). She shood su her ISP aand eemail pravieder faur not waurning her (aand evreewun els). On Februewere 21st, I sed heer vere publikle thaat evre ISP aand eemail servis shood waurn evre subskrieber on sienup aand aat leest wuns per yeer theairaafter about tha koman skaamz beeying run veeya eemail. I wood aad, nou, that evre ISP aand eemail pravieder shood (be reekwieyerd bi lau tu) poot a noetis on tha skreen thaat lists eemailz: "Never send mune tu straenjerz yu meet veeya eemail." Tha werd "Never" shood be a klikabool lingk tu a waurning paej thaat sez sumtthing uv graeter lengktth but eezile reedabool in a fyu minits, faur instans:

If yu didan't enter a lotere, yu didan't win a lotere. Thair iz no such tthing aaz aan Internet lotere thaat drauz naemz frum eemail aadressaz.

No wun hu haaz never met yu iz goewing tu trust yu witth milyanz uv dolerz thae need tu get out uv ene kuntree, aand let yu keep a kut. If yu wer aakchuewale tu koe-kanspieyer in reemueving fundz frum a kuntre ileegale, yu wood be subjekt tu arest, prosakyueshan, aand mene yeerz uv imprizanmant. But thair iz no such faurchan waeting faur yu, aand yu wil not be kut in on a windfaul out uv tha kleer blu ski.

No lajitimat biznaz needz a straenjer tu reeseev cheks aur mune aurderz, tu kaash them heer, then send tha proeseedz abraud aafter taeking a kut faur themself. [Not a gramaatikal mistaek: http://www.reference.com/browse/wiki/Singular_they.] Evre lajitimat biznaz kaan reedeem ene faurm uv paemant frum ene port uv tha werld veeya merchant baangk aat perfaktle reezanabool kamershal raets, aand guvernmants du not impoez kanfiskataure feez apon traansferz uv fundz intu thair teritaure. Eeven if thae did, if yu wer tu help sumwun eevaed lajitimat taaksaz, yu wood be gilte uv a kriem thaat kood send yu tu prizan. But thair or no such taaksaz on such fundz, beekauz thair or no such funds.

If yu or a lajitimat air in a wil, yu wil never haav tu pae a fee tu reeseez yaur inheritans. If yu wer tu poez aaz an air tu a faurchan yu or not entietoold tu, yu wood be gilte uv a kriem thaat kood send yu tu prizan. But thair iz no such wil and thair iz no such faurchan.

Stok tips sent veeya eemail, espeshale witthin tekst thaat iz kaamaflozhd witth ekstra spaesaz aand gorbaj kaarakterz (#, @, !, &) tu get paast spaam filterz, or NEVER lajitimat. Straenjerz du not wont yu tu get rich. Thae wont tu get rich, frum yu.

If a straenjer auferz yu tthouzandz uv dolerz in goeld dust aat aan eksepshanal pries, thair iz no goeld, aand the oenle dust iz beetween yaur eerz if yu faul faur thaat.

Never go tu a baangking institueshan frum a lingk witthin aan eemail, but aulwaez go tu it tthru tha websiet yu aurdinerile yuez.

Aulwaez chek ene hieperlingk witthin aan eemail bi huvering yaur kerser oever it tu maek shuer thaat the ostensibool tekst aand the aakchuewal paatth thaat kliking wil set yu on or iedentikal in evre kaarakter. Tha vere ferst set uv kaarakterz aafter the "http://" shood be tha naem uv tha kumpane yu noe, in egzaaktle tha faurm yu noe, not diferant bi so much aaz wun kaarakter. If tha teksts in the eemail aand the aakchuewal paath difer, DU NOT KLIK. And if no tekst apeerz hwen yu roel yaur mous oever a lingk, DU NOT KLIK.

Lajitimat chaariteez du not aproech straenjerz veeya eemail beging them tu bie Bieboolz faur Aafrika aur saev sum chieyald in tha Ttherd Werld frum dizeez. Deel oenle witth repyootabool chaariteez. If yu doen't noe if a chaarite iz repyootabool, go tu http://www.give.org/reports/index.asp, http://www.charitywatch.org/toprated.html, aur http://www.guidestar.org/ tu chek, aand go tu a pertikyooler chaarite'z websiet oenle veeya a lingk aat a trustwerhe websiet, aur tiep tha paath nu yaurself.

No straenjer dieying frum sum dred dizeez iz goewing tu send yu milyanz uv dolerz faur yaur faevarit chaariteez, aand let yu keep a kut, hwether thae or a reesant konvert tu Kristeeyaanite aur not.

Lajitimat biznazaz du not send out unsalisitad eemail. Thaat iz "spaam", aand ileegal.

Lajitimat formaseez du not send out spaam. Thae haav plente uv kustamerz frum werd-uv-moutth aand lajitimat aadvertiezing. Mene Internet "formaseez" send out boegas "medikaeshanz" thaat aat best du nutthing aand aat werst kaan aakchuewale be daenjeras.
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Hyueman Groetth Haurmoen (HGH), eevan hwen reel, must be yuezd under a fizishan'z suepervizhan, aand thair iz no wae tu noe hwut a boegas Internet "formase" iz aakchuewale sending out laeboold aaz HGH. Saem witth Boetoks, saev thaat Boetoks iz, eevan hwen reel, a poizan, tha poizan reesponsibool faur bochoolizam, a freekwantle faetal maalade. It shood be aadministerd oenle bi a prafeshanal.

Thair iz no such tthing aaz a peenis-enlorjmant pil aur dieyatere suplamant. Yu miet aaz wel tthro yaur mune doun a wishing wel. Aakchuewale, tthroewing yaur mune doun a wishing wel iz saefer, beekauz eevan if sumtthing shood ariev in tha mail — tho thair iz no gaarante thaat eneetthing aat aul wil be sent wuns thae haav yaur mune — it kood be ekstreemle daenjeras tu injest.

NEVER giv out tha deetailz uv yaur baangk akount tu straenjerz oever the Internet. Yu mae not noe hou thae kood posible misyuez it if yu doen't, faur instans, aulso giv them yaur PIN, but thae mae noe hou tu gaen aakses aand taek yaur mune, espeshale if yu aulso pravied them infermaeshan such aaz yaur Soeshal Sakyuerite number — hwich yu shood gord kairfoole, tu the ekstent posibool. Houwever, reeyaliez thaat thair or waez thaat ttheevz kaan fiend Soeshal Sakyuerite numberz, so du not giv them eenuf infermaeshan witth hwich tu asoeseeyaet yaur baangking infermaeshan witth yaur Soeshal Sakyuerite number: no aadres, no foen number, no daet uv bertth — nutthing. Aur yu miet aaz wel haand them yaur wolat aand leev tha ruem.

It iz not posibool, in this breef kaushan, tu list aul tha skaamz perpatraetad oever the Internet. A good daskripshan uv sum kaan be found aat FaekCheks.aurg. In jeneral, if it soundz tue good tu be tru, yu kaan bet yaur laast doler thaat it iz tue good tu be tru. But doen't bet yaur laast doler on tha good faetth uv aan Internet skaamer. Doen't be a fuel. Doen't EVER send mune tu straenjerz hu aproech yu veeya eemail. Not $1, not $1,000. EVER.

Iz thaat so hord?
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If thaat wooman'z ISP aand eemail servis did not du thaat, thae or paasivle koe-kanspieyering in graand ttheft frum thair sabskrieberz, aand shood be maed tu pae baak evreetthing thair sabskrieberz or deefraudad uv bi verchu uv thaat koe-kanspeerase. Maebe then we'l haav aakchuewal prosakyueshanz uv Internet skaamerz.
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Hou difikult kood it be tu prosakyuet theez skaamerz? Thae haav tu be reechabool. Sum paleesmen aand uther lau-enfaursmant peepool must reeseev theez skaamz, skaatershot aaz thae or. Hwi kaan't Interpoel koewaurdinaet traaps tu drau theez peepool out, arest them, aand send them tu prizan faur a tthouzand yeerz aur, for beter, slies thair eevool hedz auf aand chop thair bodeez up faur ports faur deesant peepool?
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This iz not liek malishas eemailz witth vierasaz thaat or diziend meerle tu eeraes fieyalz aur render masheenz moementerile unyuezabool. Thoez doen't need tu sho a wae tu traak doun tha peepool hu sent them. Skaamz du, beekauz reesipeeyants uv skaam eemailz need tu be aebool tu reech tha persan hu wonts mune frum them. If yu kaan fiend sumwun tu send them mune, yu kaan fiend them tu arest, flog, imprizan, aur eksakyuet.
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Tha reeyaalite iz not thaat we kaan't du eneetthing about theez hyuej, veree-publik skaamz, but thaat Guvernmant duz not kair tu du eeneetthing about them.
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Guvernmant sits iedle bi, aaz tho aakchuewale glaad tu se fuelz portad frum thair mune. We kaanot toleraet thaat, but must aaz a sasieyate deemaand aakshan frum yueslas guvernmants. If tha peepool nou in pouwer woen't lift a fingger tu pratekt us, let us lift ouwer finggerz aat voeting masheenz tu oust tha lot uv them.
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If a kaandidaet faur Prezidant, Senat, Hous, Guverner, staet lejislaecher, aur distrikt aterne haaz not deeklaird hiz/her intent agresivle tu kraak doun on Internet fraud aand maalis, then tha meedeeya, aaz tha peepool'z tribyuen (thus thaat popyooler naem faur a nuezpaeper) must kanfrunt them aand aask evre singgool kaandidaet hwut thae wil du tu maek the Internet saef, not just frum sekshuewal predaterz but aulso frum tha fiskal predaterz hu li in waet aaz eelektronik hiewaemen in hyuej outlau gaangz thaat guvernmant kansents tu haav roem fre, tu rob eneewun thae kaan. Hwi iz this not a hyuej ishu in this kaampaen seezan?
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Then agen, hwi wood it be? Tha kaandidaets doen't tauk about a lot uv tthingz tha peepool kair deeple about. Hwut haav yu herd tha kaandidaets sae about tha faurkloezher kriesis? yuezhuereeyas interest raets? kansuemer det? saev-yaur-hous-frum-faurkloezher fraud?
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Thae woodan't eevan be tauking about yueniversal heltthkair if it weran't faur Miekal Muer'z heroewik Siko. Du we need Deto beefaur tha kaandidaets uv boetth porteez wil eevan adres tha jiegaantik deter'z prizan this kuntre haaz beekum? Skaamo beefaur eneewun adresaz tha daenjer thaat lerks in eemail? Hwi du we let politishanz get awae witth tauking endlasle about tthingz thaat doen't interest us hwiel leeving tha tthingz uv moest imeedeeyat kansern tu us kampleetle unadrest?
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(Tha kerant Y.S. militere detth toel in Eerok, akaurding tu tha websiet "Eerok Koewalishan Kaazhuewalteez", iz 3,815 — faur Izreeyal.)
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Lies, Scams, and Affectations. CBS News Sunday Morning irritated me today, so I turned it off.
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First, a lead segment was about Lynne "Cháe.nee", wife of Dick "Cháe.nee". There is no such person. The man's name is properly pronounced chée.nee. As Wikipedia says:

Although his last name is usually pronounced [IPA rendering, then] (chAYnee), the Vice President himself and his family pronounce it as [IPA rendering] (chEEnee).

So when a news organization tells us it is cháe.nee , they are lying to us. How can you rely on the accuracy of anything they say if they can't even get the name right? I went to high school with a girl whose name was spelled "Cheney" and pronounced chée.nee, and Lon Chaney was a major star of horror movies when I was young, so I have never understood the insistence of media on mispronouncing this politician's name.
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As I hear the story, Cheney was always known as chée.nee until he came to Washington, whereupon some people started calling him cháe.nee, and he didn't correct them. He was more concerned about power than family dignity. I too have a surname (Schoonmaker) that is often mispronounced. But I correct people ("Skúen.mae.ker") when I am interviewed, and media accept that correction, usually with a little apology. Would media call the Vice President cháe.nee if he objected and demanded they stop mispronouncing his name? I don't think so. But if I know, and Wikipedia knows, that the family name is pronounced chée.nee, why doesn't CBS, ABC, and every other friggin' oral medium in the Nation know that? If they do know but nonetheless mispronounce it, how do they justify that?
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Second, polls as to the leaders in the presidential 'horserace' show people lying shamelessly to pollsters, as tho most Democrats who have a preference really want the frigid bitch Hillary Clinton, and as tho more Republicans want a pro-gay, pro-abortion NEW YORK CITY politician than any of the other candidates, whereas the bulk of the Republican power base is anti-gay, anti-abortion, and anti-New York City. So why these poll numbers?
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I have already pointed out that a lot of Democrats want to put Bill Clinton into the White House for a third term, and think that that is what they will really be doing if they vote for Hillary. Why would anyone want Bill Clinton back in the White House? Was his reign a golden age? Not for the Florida family of Elián Gonzalez, it wasn't. Remember that other frigid bitch, Janet Reno, ordering a SWAT team into a private house with machineguns pointed at Cuban-Americans to steal a child from the safety and freedom of the United States and send him to Castro's Communist tyranny? Ah, the good old days! I don't think so.
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Besides, people who think a vote for Hillary is a vote for Bill might be seriously mistaken. For all they know, the instant Hillary sets foot in the White House, her lawyers will file divorce papers and she will toss him out of the White House in a very public humiliation to get even for the humiliation he subjected her to with his hyperpublicized adultery scandal with a Jewish intern whose name I do not care to mention. It would be even funnier if Hillary then moved in a lesbian lover ("lovess"?) she has been hiding in a closet somewhere!
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But why would Republicans pretend to want Rudolph Giuliani? Is it because they sense the authoritarian streak in his character, and they want to continue the downward slide of this Republic into dictatorship? I lived in Giuliani's New York and called him "Mussoliani" because of his dictatorial tendencies. Maybe the Republican Right hates the freedom they keep proclaiming their devotion to, in "protest too much" fashion. But do they really want a pro-gay and pro-abortion dictator from New York City, the most hated city in the Nation? "Hymietown"? A city apparently more foreign than American? I don't believe it.
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Nor do I believe that a country that has had exactly one Catholic President is about to elect a Mormon, member of a cult that most Americans actively distrust.
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Of course it is possible that anti-black Democrats are willing to say they support a woman they don't support because they want a cover for not wanting a black man. People eager to continue anti-black hiring practices have been all too happy to proclaim women an "oppressed minority" so they could hire white women — in preference to black men — and pretend to be advancing social justice by fiting "discrimination". Maybe that's what's happening here. If the last refuge of the racist is to pose as a liberal by voting for a white woman, maybe Hillary will win after all. But I don't think so.
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And perhaps it's possible that Republicans who would never vote for a Mormon are unwilling to be held to account for their "religious bigotry", so give pollsters a politically correct answer that conceals their real feelings. I do believe that, because studies have shown that people lie to pollsters if they think that what they really feel would expose them to disapproval, from the person polling them, not least. Thus pollsters sometimes pose check-questions, like "Do you think your neighbors are willing to vote for a Mormon / woman / black man / pro-gay New Yorker?" Many people would be willing to project onto their neighbors/other residents of their city their own (socially disapproved) attitudes, so such check-questions get a more reliable result. Have media in fact asked such questions? If so, they've done a very good job of not reporting them.
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Third, Charles Osgood, unique among major onscreen anchors, styles the year "Twenty oh seven". What is wrong with him? No one else says that, nor should. "Two thousand seven" is the standard way of saying this year's name. It's not as tho his bizarre misuse is somehow shorter, aur mathematically more accurate. Both formulations are seven syllables. No saving. So why would Osgood prefer the idiotic affectation "Twenty oh seven"? "Two thousand seven" is mathematically accurate, and reminds us of the long history of Western civilization and our place in it. The bizarre misuse Osgood prefers obliterates history and poses numbers in meaningless terms. Perhaps I should write to the President of CBS News to ask him to suppress Osgood's offensive misuse.
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Eventually, "twenty" probably will seem better, but certainly not before 2010, and maybe not before 2015 or, especially, 2020. Mind you, "twenty" as against "two thousand" will always be only a one-syllable saving, tho in phonemes (individual speech sounds), it is a tad shorter: T/W/E/N/T/EE vs. T/UE/TTH/OU/Z/A/N/D, 6 phonemes vs. 8. Is that really so drastic a saving as to warrant recasting a comprehensible number into a hodgepodge? I don't think so.
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"19" was a real shortening as against "one thousand nine hundred", 2 syllables vs. 6; N/IE/N/T/EE/N (6 phonemes) vs. W/U/N/TTH/OU/Z/A/N/D/N/IE/N/H/U/N/D/R/E/D (19, interestingly). That was worth doing. Saving 1 syllable and 2 phonemes? I don't think so.
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Old Scams Still Working. Some news program (I don't recall which, I watch so many) the other day recounted the tale of some stupid woman who fell for one of those phony check scams from Africa, by way of alerting people to the new anti-fraud website FakeChecks.org (which looks to be a great site, which addresses more scams than just fake checks). She should sue her ISP and email provider for not warning her (and everyone else). On February 21st, I said here that every ISP and email service should warn every subscriber on signup and at least once per year thereafter about the common scams being run via email. I would add, now, that every ISP and email provider should (be required by law to) put a notice on the screen that lists emails: "Never send money to strangers you meet via email." The word "Never" should be a clickable link to a warning page that says something of greater length but easily readable in a few minutes, for instance:

If you didn't enter a lottery, you didn't win a lottery. There is no such thing as an Internet lottery that draws names from email addresses.

No one who has never met you is going to trust you with millions of dollars they need to get out of any country, and let you keep a cut. If you were actually to co-conspire in removing funds from a country illegally, you would be subject to arrest, prosecution ,and many years of imprisonment. But there is no such fortune waiting for you, and you will not be cut in on a windfall out of the clear blue sky.

No legitimate business needs a stranger to receive checks or money orders, to cash them here, then send the proceeds abroad after taking a cut for themself. [Not a grammatical mistake: http://www.reference.com/browse/wiki/Singular_they.] Every legitimate business can redeem any form of payment from any part of the world via merchant bank at perfectly reasonable commercial rates, and governments do not impose confiscatory fees upon transfers of funds into their territory. Even if they did, if you were to help someone evade legitimate taxes, you would be guilty of a crime that could send you to prison. But there are no such taxes on such funds, because there are no such funds.

If you are a legitimate heir in a will, you will never have to pay a fee to receive your inheritance. If you were to pose as an heir to a fortune you are not entitled to, you would be guilty of a crime that could send you tu prison. But there is no such will and there is no such fortune.

Stock tips sent via email, especially within text that is camouflaged with extra spaces and garbage characters (#, @, !, &) to get past spam filters, are NEVER legitimate. Strangers do not want you to get rich. They want to get rich, from you.

If a stranger offers you thousands of dollars in gold dust at an exceptional price, there is no gold, and the only dust is between your ears if you fall for that.

Never go to a banking institution from a link within an email, but always go to it thru the website you ordinarily use.

Always check any hyperlink within an email by hovering your cursor over it to make sure that the ostensible text and the actual path that clicking will set you on are identical in every character. The very first set of characters after the "http://" should be the name of the company you know, in exactly the form you know, not different by so much as one character. If the text in the email and the actual path differ, DO NOT CLICK. And if no text appears when you roll your mouse over a link, DO NOT CLICK.

Legitimate charities do not approach strangers via email begging them to buy Bibles for Africa or save some child in the Third World from disease. Deal only with reputable charities. If you don't know if a charity is reputable, go to www.give.org/reports/index.asp, http://www.give.org/reports/index.asp, or http://www.guidestar.org/ to check, and go to a particular charity's website only via a link at a trustworthy website, or type the path new yourself.

No stranger dying from some dread disease is going to send you millions of dollars for your favorite charities, and let you keep a cut, whether they are a recent convert to Christianity or not.

Legitimate businesses do not send out unsolicited email. That is "spam", and illegal.

Legitimate pharmacies do not send out spam. They have plenty of customers from word-of-mouth and legitimate advertising. Many Internet "pharmacies" send out bogus "medications" that at best do nothing and at worst can actually be dangerous.
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Human Growth Hormone (HGH), even when real, must be used under a physician's supervision, and there is no way to know what a bogus Internet "pharmacy" is actually sending out labeled as HGH. Same with Botox, save that Botox is, even when real, a poison, the poison responsible for botulism, a frequently fatal malady. It should be administered only by a professional.

There is no such thing as a penis-enlargement pill or dietary supplement. You might as well throw your money down a wishing well. Actually, throwing your money down a wishing well is safer, because even if something should arrive in the mail — tho there is no guarantee that anything at all will be sent once they have your money — it could be extremely dangerous to ingest.

NEVER give out the details of your bank account to strangers over the Internet. You may not know how they could possibly misuse it if you don't, for instance, also give them your PIN, but they may know how to gain access and take your money, especially if you also provide them information such as your Social Security number — which you should guard carefully, to the extent possible. However, realize that there are ways that thieves can find Social Security numbers, so do not give them enuf information with which to associate your banking information with your Social Security number: no address, no phone number, no date of birth — nothing. Or you might as well hand them your wallet and leave the room.

It is not possible, in this brief caution, to list all the scams perpetrated over the Internet. A good description of some can be found at FakeChecks.org. In general, if it sounds too good to be true, you can bet your last dollar that it is too good to be true. But don't bet your last dollar on the good faith of an Internet scammer. Don't be a fool. Don't EVER send money to strangers who approach you via email. Not $1, not $1,000. EVER.

Is that so hard?
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If that woman's ISP and email service did not do that, they are passively co-conspiring in grand theft from their subscribers, and should be made to pay back everything their subscribers are defrauded of by virtue of that co-conspiracy. Maybe then we'll have actual prosecutions of Internet scammers.
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How difficult could it be to prosecute these scammers? They have to be reachable. Some policemen and other law-enforcement people must receive these scams, scattershot as they are. Why can't Interpol coordinate traps to draw these people out, arrest them, and send them to prison for a thousand years or, far better, slice their evil heads off and chop their bodies up for parts for decent people?
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This is not like malicious emails with viruses that are designed merely to erase files or render machines momentarily unusable. Those don't need to show a way to track down the people who sent them. Scams do, because recipients of scam emails need to be able to reach the person who wants money from them. If you can find someone to send them money, you can find them to arrest, flog, imprison, or execute.
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The reality is not that we can't do anything about these huge, very-public scams, but that Government does not care to do anything about them.
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Government sits idly by, as tho actually glad to see fools parted from their money. We cannot tolerate that, but must as a society demand action from useless governments. If the people now in power won't lift a finger to protect us, let us lift our fingers at voting machines to oust the lot of them.
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If a candidate for President, Senate, House, Governor, state legislature, or district attorney has not declared his/her intent aggressively to crack down on Internet fraud and malice, then the media, as the people's tribune (thus that popular name for a newspaper) must confront them and ask every single candidate what they will do to make the Internet safe, not just from sexual predators but also from the fiscal predators who lie in wait as electronic highwaymen in huge outlaw gangs that government consents to have roam free, to rob anyone they can. Why is this not a huge issue in this campaign season?
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Then again, why would it be? The candidates don't talk about a lot of things the people care deeply about. What have you heard the candidates say about the foreclosure crisis? usurious interest rates? consumer debt? save-your-house-from-foreclosure fraud?
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They wouldn't even be talking about universal healthcare if it weren't for Michael Moore's heroic Sicko. Do we need Debto before the candidates of both parties will even address the gigantic debtor's prison this country has become? Scammo before anyone addresses the danger that lurks in email? Why do we let politicians get away with talking endlessly about things that don't interest us while leaving the things of most immediate concern to us completely unaddressed?
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(The current U.S. military death toll in Iraq, according to the website "Iraq Coalition Casualties", is — for Israel.)

- posted by L. Craig Schoonmaker @ 11:59 PM

 
Ending tha Taatu Plaeg

(This blog is published, first, in phonetic (Fanetik) spelling and only then in standard English spelling. If you wish to skip to the traditionally spelled text (albeit with a few simplifications here and there), click here.)
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A Komkaast foen servis kamershal nou airing shoez a maan witth hyuej tieger-paatern taatuez thaat he no laungger wonts, maeking a kaul tu tha taatu ortist on hiz nu foen servis. Tha taatuewist sez, in hwut soundz liek a Chieneez aaksent, 'Taatuez permanant. Yu tieger nou.' The aanser iz stil tha saem, no maater hwut foen wun kaulz frum: taatuez or permanant.
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Aultho tha top-laeyer mesaj iz thaat yaur kaulz wil sound tha saem, no maater hwether thae or plaest veeya tha foen kumpane aur kaebool kumpane, thair iz a soeshale yuesfool subtekst thair thaat we need tu enaakt intu lau: taatuewists shood be baand frum taatuewing ene miener, eevan witth parental permishan, aand faurbidan aaz wel frum taatuewing eneewun hu iz drungk aur under the influewans uv drugz. If thair iz not nou a reekwieyermant in lau thaat eneewun hu gets a taatu must reed aand sien a breef aaknolajmant thaat sh/he understaandz thaat taatuez or permanant aand reemueval tekneeks or ekspensiv aand paenful, thair shood be. Such a permishan faurm shood be in aat leest 14-point tiep. Aand tha lejislaeshan shood haav teetth (liek a tieger), seereeyas konsakwensaz in termz uv fienz aand/aur imprizanmant faur vieyalaeterz.
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Peersingz shood be similerly reestriktad tu aadults, saev faur wun peersing per eerloeb. A similer waurning about patenshale laung-term aadvers ifekts, daenjers uv infekshan, broekan teetth (frum tung peersingz), aand uther noen haazerdz, in komparable lorj tiep, shood aulso be reekwieyerd faur aul peersings.
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Tha popyooler kulcher must be weend frum the insaen desakraeshan uv tha hyueman bode involvd in tha myuetilaeshanz popyooleriezd bi deeveeyant myuezishanz, biekerz, aakterz, aand tha liek, mene uv them on drugz. Ouwer childran or emyoolaeting tha skum uv the Ertth. Thaat must stop.
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Childran haav no kansepshan uv tha fyuecher, so must not be permitad tu kamit themselvz tu a raash deesizhan thaat kood stae witth them faur thair entieyer lievz, aadversly impaakting thair kareer aand eevan marital prospekts. We doen't alou childran tu sien kontraakts. We must not alou them tu mor thair bodeez, aand thair lievz, thru infantieyal stuepidite.
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Spining West. Jon Stuewert uv Komade Sentral'z Daily Sho sed tooniet, uv the ekskluezhan uv hiz biluvd Nu Yaurk Mets frum tha plaeyaufs, aproksimat kwoet, "Yu mae tthingk it's oever, but it's not oever. If we kaan just get the Ertth tu reevers roetaeshan, we kaan plae this tthing agen."
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Oq, but tha Daile Sho'z oepaning graafiks aulrede haav the Ertth spining in reevers direkshan, westwerd, such thaat daun in the Yoonietad Staets wood stort oever tha Pasifik aand proeseed eestwerd. Oelder reederz will reemember tha hyuej bruehohoq 24 yeerz ago hwen NBK Nuez kreeyaetad a nu oepaning faur its eevning nuez proegraam in hwich the Ertth apeerd tu spin tha raung way, and NBK wuz raekt oever tha koelz faur it, so karektad the apaarant aastranomikal erer witthin daez. I fiend on the Internet a perpaurtad kope uv thaat oepaning (http://www.80stvthemes.com/potpourri/; serch faur "shutal"), but it iz not aaz I reememberd. Faur wun tthing, tha verzhan I reekauld haad aakyarat shaepz faur tha kontinents, aaz on a gloeb. This wun shoez a Merkaeter-Prajekshan distaurshan uv tha kontinents. The eksplanaeshan aat tha websiet iz thaat the arijinal intent wuz tu sho the Ertth aaz it miet be seen frum a spaes shutal paasing oever frum west tu eest. I doen't reekaul haaving herd thaat aat tha tiem, houwever.
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I haav asuemd thaat tha Daily Sho, aaz a saatieyer, shoed the Ertth spining tha raung wae tu sho its ieronik taek on tha werld.
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Aaz faur the "get the Ertth tu reevers rotaeshan" reemork, I am reemindad uv a mueve frum tha 1940z in hwich the godz giv wun maan aul hiz wishaz, tu se hwut wil haapan. He beekumz frustraetad about sumtthing thaat iz goewing raung, so aurderz tha sun tu stop mueving in tha ski (intending tu stop tiem), hwairapon the Ertth insted stops spining, but the aatmasfeer duzan't stop witth it, praduesing a kaataklizmik windstaurm thaat wood haav dastroid evreetthing haad tha godz not stept in. So, let's not maek tha werld reevers roetaeshan, OK?
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(Tha kerant Y.S. militere detth toel in Eerok, akaurding tu tha websiet "Eerok Koewalishan Kaazhuewalteez", iz 3,807 — faur Izreeyal.)
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Ending the Tattoo Plague. A Comcast phone service commercial now airing shows a man with huge tiger-pattern tattoos that he no longer wants, making a call to the tattoo artist on his new phone service. The tattooist says, in what sounds like a Chinese accent, 'Tattoos permanent. You tiger now.' The answer is still the same, no matter what phone one calls from: tattoos are permanent.
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Altho the top-layer message is that your calls will sound the same, no matter whether they are placed via the phone company or cable company, there is a socially useful subtext there that we need to enact into law: tattooists should be banned from tattooing any minor, even with parental permission, and forbidden as well from tattooing anyone who is drunk or under the influence of drugs. If there is not now a requirement in law that anyone who gets a tattoo must read and sign a brief acknowledgment that s/he understands that tattoos are permanent and removal techniques are expensive and painful, there should be. Such a permission form should be in at least 14-point type. And the legislation should have teeth (like a tiger), serious consequences in terms of fines and/or imprisonment for violators.
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Piercings should be similarly restricted to adults, save for one piercing per earlobe. A similar warning about potentially long-term adverse effects, dangers of infection, broken teeth (from tongue piercings), and other known hazards, in comparably large type, should also be required for all piercings.
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The popular culture must be weaned from the insane desecration of the human body involved in the mutilations popularized by deviant musicians, bikers, actors, and the like, many of them on drugs. Our children are emulating the scum of the Earth. That must stop.
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Children have no conception of the future, so must not be permitted to commit themselves to a rash decision that could stay with them for their entire lives, adversely impacting their career and even marital prospects. We don't allow children to sign contracts. We must not allow them to mar their bodies, and their lives, thru infantile stupidity.
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Spinning West. Jon Stewart of Comedy Central's Daily Show said tonite, of the exclusion of his beloved New York Mets from the playoffs, approximate quote, "You may think it's over, but it's not over. If we can just get the Earth to reverse rotation, we can play this thing again."
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Ah, but the Daily Show's opening graphics already have the Earth spinning in reverse direction, westward, such that dawn in the United States would start over the Pacific and proceed eastward. Older readers will remember the huge brouhaha 24 years ago when NBC News created a new opening for its evening news program in which the Earth appeared to spin the wrong way, and NBC was raked over the coals for it, so corrected the apparent astronomical error within days. I find on the Internet a purported copy of that opening (http://www.80stvthemes.com/potpourri/; search for "shuttle"), but it is not as I remembered. For one thing, the version I recalled had accurate shapes for the continents, as on a globe. This one shows a Mercator-Projection distortion of the continents. The explanation at the website is that the original intent was to show the Earth as it might be seen from a space shuttle passing over from west to east. I don't recall having heard that at the time, however.
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As for the "get the Earth to reverse rotation" remark, I am reminded of a movie from the 1940s in which the gods give one man all his wishes, to see what will happen. He becomes frustrated about something that is going wrong, so orders the sun to stop moving in the sky (intending tu stop tiem), whereupon the Earth instead stops spinning, but the atmosphere doesn't stop with it, producing a cataclysmic windstorm that would have destroyed everything had tha gods not stepped in. So, let's not make the world reverse rotation, OK?
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(The current U.S. military death toll in Iraq, according to the website "Iraq Coalition Casualties", is 3,807 — for Israel.)
- posted by L. Craig Schoonmaker @ 11:59 PM